the rain

rain rain on the window pane
i wish it would never go away

the crack of lightning
the roll of thunder
the glorious clouds
grey and sad and swaying by

the rain can come
wash away my sorrow
wash away my pain
wash away my anger
wash away my hate
wash away everything

I'm not sure how i feel right now.
i'm tired of being alone
i mean, i know im really not alone
but it feels that way sometimes
i'm wishing i had some feelings inside
rather than anger, or fear, or hate
i'm just tired
i don't know how to change how i feel
about people, or work, or school, or myself
i'm feeling so helpless
yet i don't want help
i want to figure it out
but i hate when people ask what's wrong
because my only answer is 'nothing'
and if i say how i truely feel?
i would lose everything
maybe it's everyone
maybe it's just me
i feel...dead inside
or wishing i was dead inside
but i know me
i know i wouldn't be so dumb
but i think of jumping
of guns, knifes, car crashes
it's a horrible thought i know
but it's how i feel...sometimes
it's not too much to handle
i know i won't break
but i feel....
and i wish i didn't