The rain...

The rain falls
he thunder rolls
the lightning flashes

So softly tickling my senses
dripping silently on the windowpane
such a quiet echo, the tears of heaven
falling on my skin
cooling my face
the world becomes clear as ice
looking up i see endless grey
the sight is beautiful
the smell is pure and fresh
the taste is wonderful and delicious
the feel is cold and clean
the sound is soothing and tranquil
washing me spotless of all fears, regrets, and sorrows

C

Paramore

so i know i'm probably a little behind the times...but...PARAMORE is an amazing band...and ALL of their songs are really really good...i'm thinking i want a cd of theirs....very amazing...go look em up!

uhhh....

i got a low C on chemistry...and i was a borders until 6 o' clock...
what a fun way to spend a birthday... i followed courtney around at the store buying gift for her friends until 7....i also did a crapload of chores when i got home...happy birthday to me...
C

almost over...

3 finals down....5 to go...i think i did good so far...now the hard ones

...gulp

here i sit...wonderig what to study...worried as all get out about finals. however, they will all be fairly simple. why am i so nervous? maybe it's because i have Bs in quite a few of my classes...going into a final with a B is not very wise...i have to work harder to keep that B a B....*sigh...i was never very good at studying...what to do...what to do...oh well...looks like i'm just gunna go in there with the best attitude i can...and hope to do well.....haha..wish me luck
of course all the hardest finals are on my birthday...sux...but it's better than what i did last year on my birthday: cavities being filled...that was deffinitely a not fun day...i'd rather take finals any day...so...i also have to babysit all weekend...funny how i'm always so busy around my birthday to do anything for me...i guess things just work like that
i'm blessed that, unlike my friend's brother, i do not have a fishhook in my eye for my birthday...deffinitely not a fun thing...and i thought i had it bad! (he's ok, if you were worried, he can still see....a miracle really)
anyway...that's about it for now...prayers for stupid little me please? that i remember whatever the heck is in my small little brain...and that i can get it out on papel (paper)
C

ah...haha...wait...16?!?!

so...this weekend...it's been interesting...starting more on Thursday though...i started to not feel well...headaches, runny nose, sneezing ect. and then at school the construction peoples were tarring...something i don't know what, but the smell was horrible in my chemistry class, so on top of everything...my headache got worse...i think i past out it was so bad...i don't remember anything from that class...bad huh?
friday was much the same...minus the intense headaches from tarring....and then i had to babysit that night...three rowdy girls to one of me...haha...fun...they cried at the smallest things and finally i made them go to bed...they were terrible! thanks goodness the family is moving to New York!
after spending most of saturday out and about checking out the new costco and smith's...(i so want to work at smith's it's way cool there! and i'm turing 16 soon anyway!) my mom and i went home and wrapped presents...which i guess my mom hates doing...she's strange...so we never finished wrapping everything, so i stayed up 'till 11 wrapping gifts...
went to church sunday...er...today...mighty cold at church...good services...i felt really convicted by Jordan's...which btw he's leaving us! so depressing! he's the best speaker at crave (not that i don't love jared, but i'm more ADD like jordan, so i follow him better) he's coming back in 2 years...by then i'm going to be graduating from high school! yikes!!! very scary thought...
anyway...the rest of today was devoted to a project fro english...which i am thankfully done with...
now i just have to deal with finals....and turning 16 in 4 days....ew...no fun...and i'm going to be so mad someone tries something on my birthday! i hate being in school on my b-day because people try to make it known...and i'd rather not be revealed...i feel old...that is all
C

quotes about life, love, and friends

"by plucking her petals you do not gather the beauty of a flower." ~ Rabindrath Tagore

That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. ~Ninon de L'Enclos

These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey
Is loathsome in his own deliciousness
And in the taste confounds the appetite.
Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow. ~Romeo and Juliet Act II Scene vi

Beauty... is the shadow of God on the universe. ~Gabriela Mistral

Beauty... when you look into a woman's eyes and see what is in her heart. ~Nate Dircks

No man can be called friendless who has God and the companionship of good books. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world. ~Leo Buscaglia

Just some quotes i've discovered and love...let me know what you think.
my favorite is the first one, and the one from Romeo and Juliet...i love that play...
C

having a moment...

it's been one of those days...
walking around in a haze or a fog all day...too numb to care what's going on in the world...wouldn't it have been funny if i died? i wouldn't have even known, that's how completely spacey i was today...

*sigh...things like Christmas and my birthday coming up do this to me...well actually last year i was very crazy...i was excited to turn 15 for whatever reason...and now 16 is upon me, and i am wishing i was turning 10 or something...maybe it's all my stress

I've decided that if i ever got some kinda of tattoo i want it on the side of my face above my eye and traveling down my jawline...just some kinda of intricate design of elegant squiggles...
yes i'm a random...i want to be special though...stuff like that doesn't happen to people like me though...

so i really don't want to have a party for my birthday, but i promised a friend i was going to let him do something special...so i'm having a party...i just need to plan it...oh joy (very sarcasmic)
C

Beautiful

As I look into the stars
Pondering how far away they are
How You hold them in Your hands
And still You know they're small
You know my inner most being, oh
Even better than I know, than I know myself
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I, what am I
As I look off into the distance
Watching the sun roll on by
Beautiful colors all around me, oh
Painted all over the sky
The same hands that created all of this
They created you and I
What a beautiful God
What a beautiful God
And what am I, that I might be called Your child
What am I, what am I
That You might know me, my King
What am I, what am I
That You might die, that I might live
What am I, what am I, what am I, what am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I
What am I

This song my Shawn McDonald really touched me...i actually don't know why...but wow...it's an amzing song...random i know...but worth listening to if you can

life...it's kinda sucky

so my life is kinda....well sucky right now...
sunday was bad...i was supposed to go to this concert...and it was totally cancled...pretty upsetting i tell you what! and church was rather boring...i didn't really get a whole lot out of it...we also played a Bon Jovi song...really random...and not very icy...maybe it didn't makes much sense to me because i was up till about 1 the night before...i don't know for sure...
today was pretty stressful too...my mom comes in at like 5:30 and tells me to wake up...i, not having any idea what time it is really, grumble and get out of bed and get dressed and all that crap...it only takes me about 15 minutes to get ready in the morning...so i was up and waiting to leave...when i noticed that it was 6-frickin-o clock in the morning...my momther failed to tell me that we were waking up really early that morning because she had to be at work at like 7...
it's really cold outside at about 6 in the morning...and i'm not wearing a whole lot...just a sweater and junk...anyway...she dropped us off at Starbucks...and bought us large white chocolate mocas...but ti's stilla long cold walk from Starbucks to Cibola...
in Algebra II we were doing quadratic equation...easiest crap you will ever do in math i swear...and NO ONE in my class got it...i've been doing that stuff sinse 8th grade and i was really frustrated with my retarded class.
then my com skills teacher is making us write an essay on a stereotype that is due...uhh wednesday...thanks mrs. marshall
and during lunch i realized that i have a history project...so i went to wokr on that...then Abby decided she didn't want to be in school anymore...so she ditched and left me in Spanish all alone...and we had a sub...lame
then after school...there was no bus to pick us up...by this point it's pouring outside...and i'mn soaked from jumping in puddles all day (the only good part of my day) so i'm freezing...then finally Court flagged down a freind and he gave us a ride home...pretty much that was my day...it sucked...now i'm stuck inside fretting about finals and projects and homework
isn't it fun to be me?
C

i'm a writer...?

haha...i guess i kinda am...i wrote a song...some of you peeps have seen it...some of you have not...i thought i'd share since i haven't posted anything remotely interesting in a while...you guys can laugh at my lack of writing skills! yay!
it doesn't have a name yet...got any ideas?

Please don't speak...
You've done enough damage
body language speaks louder than words
the unspoken whispers tell me
"Stay away. I am not your friend."
I hurt you and i'm sorry
words cannot express
the pain i feel in mine
for breaking your heart
contradicting words and movements tell the truth.

Please don't speak...
Your dagger sunk deep
into my heart
sweet dagger in my chest
my mind grows weak
my heart grows weaker
made of stone and ice
the prick of your lovely knife
it shatters my cold heart
pieces of me lay in a pile at your feet

but please don't speak...
your deed caused my demise
leave those pieces
i want a new hero
one who will love my brokenness
he'll never, my black knight
no one will put me together
scattered pieces of me will lay in a heap forever
but your scarlet hands don't care
the sweet dagger loves me more than you ever did...

tell me what you think! and help me come up with a catchy name!
C

have you ever noticed...?

that when i post blogs about music...no one comments? how lame are my friends! lol...kidding i love you all...but you need to get more into music! haha...no nasties please.
C

Punk The Halls '07

Grace outreach center, last night...for bands, $15....can't go wrong with that!!!
Our Heart's Hero
Eleventyseven
Nevertheless
Stellar Kart

the most amazing cancert i have ever been to!!!!! Jasmyne invited me to go and i said i would! so when we got there, only about 60 people were at the concert...which you may think is lame, but it's actually totally awesome!
the first band was Our heart's Hero...they rock...and they all were dressed the same! it was hardcore! they were all wearing balck shirts and jeans, with white ties and belts and converse! it was awesome
the next band was Eleventyseven...and they were the best band there by far! if you don't know their music...go look it up on myspace! they are sooo amazing and they rcok my face off! they all came out wearing little elve things and white beards and crazy glasses! and the bass player was amazing! he jumped around and danced and gave me his pick and it was the best! that band is just the best band in the world...and they are the nicest people to talk to! (this is the reason that having only 60some people there is awesome) jasmyne and i hung out with the guys for a really long time! and we goofed off with them and teased and it was way chill!

actually...that was the best part of the concert! haha...nevertheless was still good, and so was stellar kart (however, i've decided that stellar kart needs new sound people, because i've seen them 3 times, and you can never here the singing...) but jas and i went for eleventyseven...so yeah that was the best concert i have ever been to and i have awesome pics on my phone...

side note: i want eleventyseven cds for christmas :D
C

Kenan & Kel

haha...i used to watch this show when i was a little child and i loved it! and now they brought the show back on!! it's totally amazing...and Kel is really hot...today he had his shirt off and i was happy...haha...remember?? "AAAAHHHH....HERE IT GOES!"
anyway...i thought i'd just say something about how amazing that show is! that's when television was good...you know it!
C

comments on life

guys...are all douches...and piss me off...breaking hearts and what not...and some think they themselves are actually different! it's funny how blind they are to their own stupidity...

"i'm a good guy, truly i am."

i've seen this fool around...and he's not a good guy...he's full of lies...to think there are some "princes" out there...i wrote a song about this guy...maybe if he heard it...he'd realize what a jerk he really is...
C

destination: beautiful

yesterday i was at Best Buy with my family and marissa, and i was looking through CDs...i found the band Mae...if you've never heard of them, you've never lived.
i saw that they had a new one out and i thought that was cool and i started to flip through the rest of the Mae collection...and found their old CD that i thought they didn't even sell anymore! needles to say...i was amazed and petrified, for i had been looking for this CD forever and it was finally in my hands...i think that's happiest i have ever been to buy a CD...i took it home, i unwrapped, still in a bit of a daze, and put it on my computer so i could listen to it...
Mae is my alltime favorite band, and i know i have said that there is no one band that surpasses the others, but i lied, MAE is by far my favorite band, and i love them! the CD is absolutely amazing, i think i am in love...i have not stopped listening to it since i purchased it...seriously i haven't...and i'm working on memorizing every single song on this exelant album...
a great christmas present for me would be to get any of their CDs...i would love the one who gave it to me forever...i'm done ranting about the best band in the entire world...thank you.
C

Turkey Day Torture

Now normally i love thanksgiving...turkey, stuffing, yams, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole right? oh yeah...and pie...lots of pie...
well this year i had the rudest awakening i have ever had: Christmas Music blasting my poor eardrums at 6 in the morning...if you didn't know this already, you do now...i hate christmas music...i think it's because it's the same tunes every year...so this morning i woke up to the wretched tune of "we wish you a merry christmas" and i immediately rolled out of bed and slammed off my alarm, and my radio...and i scrounged around for my ipod and put on some nice soothing Oh, Sleeper...and went back to sleep...and that's how my morning began...
i finally decided to stop dreaming and get out of bed at about 11...haha, i felt like sleeping in...and went upstairs to start cooking for the rest of the day...then my parents found these stupid concerts...alyson krouse, and vince gill...i about killed my eardrums trying to drown out the terrible sound of bluegrass...and then we ate...and my parents, doing this to torture me, but on some christmas music halfway through thanksgiving meal...thanks...
but i'm not complaining...love the fam...love the food...love music (just not christmas) and i have a lot to be thankful for...so THANK YOU!!!!
C

life in the BAMF lane

haha...actually i sadly do not drive in the BAMF lane of life, for which i feel lame...but oh well...
today in psych class my teacher told us we could train someone to do anything we want, by using positive re-enforcement or negative re-enforcement...he showed us how...someone volunteered to leave the classroom and to be treated like a lob rat...or lab whatever animal we chose...and the rest of us in the class decided on an animal and the name of the 'animal' that we were going to train...(that whole part was actually rather insignificant when it boils down to it)
we also decided what we were going to make them do...the first person up we called her a giraffe, and i forgot the name...so we weren't aloud to speak out and tell her what to do, but she was supposed to sweep the room by us clapping whenever she moved in the right direction etc....after a super long time...the girl was rather blond if you know what i mean, she swept the floor...it was awesome...then we took a guy 'animal' and decided he was a pink unicorn named princess fluff-n-stuff...(would i make this up people??) and we made him crawl under a table...by shouting "GOOD!" when he went the right way, and "BAD!" when he did the wrong thing...all in all a very interesting psych class...
then i took, and failed, a chemistry test
and uh...you know those little hand turkeys? where you trace your hand ant call it a turkey? well....i have a weird world history teacher...and he told us if we made a foot turkey (traced our foot and made it a turkey...loser that he is) he would give us some extra credit...he and i actually had a ton of fun laughing at people's hideous foot turkeys...and that was my day...

Parents

parents suck...and i hate mine, they piss me off...
that is all...
C

B-day parties, church, and bake sales

ah...don't you love surprise b-day parties? personally...no one has ever thrown one for me...but i'm sure that being on the receiving end of one is very exhilarating...maybe i'm a liar...
any who...one of my best friends, jared, just turned 16 today (yikes!) just kidding i love the guy to death...and on saturday we threw this surprise party for him...there were quite a few people there, and of course...being me, i showed up late...(i hate being late, but this was actually my dad's fault) noon 12 to be exact...and a few minuets later jared drove up...(well his mom did anyway, he can't drive) and we jumped out and yelled "SURPRISE" with a little blow horn and everything...he was somehow unfazed by all this...and i have no idea how...but maybe he's not surprised easily...i don't know...ummm...there was cupcakes and other food...marissa and i got jared outside and shoved two of them in his face...(again somehow weirdly unfazed) and then we opened gifts and he got a few CDs, so we played those...the one i gave him was Emery's new one...it's amazing...and a little bird told me that jared and i were standing up dancing, and lip singing in the exact same way!! creepy...then the party ended and i walked home because i basically live across the street from him.
that night i spent the night at marissa's and we watched Micheal Jackson music videos...because i'm awesome and have them on DVD...and we pigged out on food and junk...
today i woke up and we went to church and saw marissa's little bro get baptized (this is where you 'aw') and then heard an awesome message about complaining...whoops!!
then there was this bake sale...which was fun to help advertise because i'm a freak and i like to shout at people..." get a doughnut! you know you want one! only 50 cents!!!"
and then i ditched the last service and jared and i walked around and talked for like an hour...

weekends make me happy...
C

hot guy ice cream

today was very interesante because my sister and i on occasion walk home...well today she had to go to wal-mart so that she could get some poster board for a project...after we went to wallgreens to see if they had poster board (why is it every time you walk into wallgreens you get the urge to steal something?? maybe it's the lighting...) and they didn't of course because they aren't as awesome as wal-mart is...so we got the poster board...and decided we had time to go to chick-fil-a...so we walk out and, oops, we jay walked and i almost got hit by a car...haha that was scary yet hilarious. at chick-fil-a the guy that served us was so checking out my sister!! (but not me...bummer) and so as usual...my sister found someone she knew and they started to talk and all the while i'm watching this guy stare at Courtney! and then he walks off and get a small ice dream cone, and goes "do you want some ice cream?" ahahahaha and so i just took it and gave it to her...she called it..."hot guy ice cream" ah ha! it was sooo funny!
C

Second Saturday

Today was amazing because it was Second Saturday at our church! on this day every month we go to a ifferent place in the city and serve people who need to be served. Today we went out to Rio Rancho to this place where they are building a horse ranch for kids, and others. We helped them build some fences and it was just an amazing experience. i think that everyone at some point in they're lives go and serve people who are needy...umm...let's see it was super rewarding because it's always just amazing to see the people's faces because they are so happy that we came and built all kinda of stuff for them! i think that's it for now...laterz peeps...haha...kidding
C

Hosanna

I see the King of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see His love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x2)

I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x2)

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest (x4)
Hosanna in the highest
in the highest, in the highest

So this song is by far the most amazing song i have ever heard! it's by Hillsong United and if you haven't heard it...your lose man...go look it up! i love it so much...and i just thought i would share the lyrics...
C

homework frenzy

gosh! tonight i had the most ridiculous amount of homework! and nothing is going very well at all! first i had to write an essay...which i just BSd the entire thing....then my printer is low on ink...so it didn't even come out on the paper! arg...then i had this vocabulary assignment where i took a few words, defined them, and then drew a picture...but the pic had to be as big as my hand! ahh...and then those pics just took forever to draw...because i am the worst artist ever...and it sux...i also had to do something else in my history class...but i'm not going to do it...becuase it's not worth it...and i think i have some kinda of geography test tommorrow...i have to give a speech, i have an essay due, i have a vocabulary test, and...my grandmother is coming to town tommorrow afternoon...*sigh* should be an interesting day...now it's sleep time...i gotta work on that whole dream journal thing...i had a funny dream last night about my friend abby...but that's not important right now...haha laterz peoples...
C

Dreams...

Today i got the most interesting assignment that i think i will ever do...a dream journal...i'm pressure that psychology is one of my favorite classes...seriously, i'm learning more in that class than any other class that i am taking...sad, because it's an elective. anywho...the dream journal: it is very self explanitory, but i will explain...all of us dream in our very last REM (Rapid Eye Movement) cycle of sleep. in this last cycle, our unconcious mind goes off in very random things that are full of imangination and trippy things. anyway, when i wake up, i'm supposed to just write exactly what i remember about my dream that night. 'but what if i don't dream?" you ask. well...if you tell yourself, "tonight i will have a dream, and when i wake up, i will record my dream in my dream journal..." you are supposed to have a dream...interestante right? i can't wait to see what i will dream about tonight! it should be funny to try to 'interpret' what my dreams mean in psychology class...i guess if you want to know what i am dreaming...i might post some of them...should be funny...ummm...Mr. Strong has really strange dreams...seriously...i dont' have enough patience to write it all down here...but they are hilarious...he's pretty fricked up, and he's not affraid to addmit that...
anyways...dream journals are chill...try it...i'm excited about this madness
C

cookies, dancing, and estrogen......

Tonight at my church we had this thing called a "girl's night" and i can't believe i went! we have had one of these 'est fests' before...but tonight was pretty bad man...we had homemade cookies where you took the frosting and sprinkles and put them on yourself...huh...i didn't quiet understand that concept...anyway...then we played a few games like musical chairs (*rolls eyes*) and did some wierd line dancing...which i got into because dancing is just amazingly fun and i enjoy dancing a lot more then just playing stupid games.
after that, my mother gave her testimony...which was chill...and then we watched "One Night With The King"....(*rolls eyes again*) it's basically the story of Ester in a movie which had the worst special effects i've seen since the early 1990's...i also kinda think that the whole movie is just kinda blah...mostly because i am more of a blood-and-guts kinda gal...seriously, i'd rather watch frickin...huge robots fighting then some mushy gushy love seen movie...not my cup of tea really...my friend and i had a good time making fun at the move for it's poor graphics and cheesy seens, until my mom leaned over and said...."shutup..." that is...anywho...i guess that's just a typical 'girl's night out' for ya...

the only good thing about that movie was the king...he had these amazing abs...i mean...wow man...wow... >_<

ah...revelations

today...the after-halloween-candy-binge-eating-trip happened...i have to say it was a bad sorta trip, becuase i failed 2 tests today...one in psychology, and the other in chemistry. also...i had an interesante (that's spanish for interesting) revelation today...i probably should have seen this sooner, but i'm always a little behind in the times...those who know me know this is fact. i've realized that all people...are very selfish beings who care for no one but themselves...yeah that's right...everyone...*guilty shifty eyes*
it's funny to think about how many thoughts a day we have of ourselves...because i certainly had a lot of thought about myself today...and you know what? people who act like they care but really don't drive me insane...there are so many people im my life that think of only themselves...and i think "gosh what a jerk" but am i really any different? i think not. today i talked to one of my friends and i said...'i had a good time trick-or-treating last night' and she was like..'oh...cool...' i proceeded to say a few highlights of my night, and then realized that she didn't care...obviously my story was boring, but i realized that i too tune people out, because i just don't care. Intersting how we have the smile that says "yeah im really interested in what you are saying" ....when you're not...i think i've finally realized how sick and tired i am of people lying...i guess if we could be honest and say..."dude...your story sux...get out of my face" the world would be a better place...but no, we have all these secrets and we put on this mask of perfection, and think people won't see through it...the thing is...people don't see through it, because we are so wraped up in our own lives...we don't care or see who's really hurting and is wearing a mask...and that's my rant...of course now after all that thinking...i'm in a total funk...oblivious to the world...hit me and i probably won't react...that could be entertaining...

C

Happy Halloween!

So...today is halloween, as most of you know...what you don't know is that this holiday is actually pretty6 cool if you ignor all the stupid, creepy, devil worship crap. Tonight is the night where kids of all ages, even teens, dress up as someone else and go door to door asking for candy! HELLO?? who doesn't want frickin free candy?? I love the fact that most churches are like "halloween is evil! so we call our halloween...fall festival!" haha...no...it's halloween whether you like it or not! and i think that you could totally witness to people with halloween...put some Bible verses on the candy you pass out...dress up as Bible characters, you know? i think that people are sheltered too much just to enjoy the fact that you a) get to dress up as someone else for a night b) get free candy and c) don't realize that you can totally use halloween for GOD!
anyway...tonight i am taking my friend Jessica trick-or-treating with me because she has never been before! what a dork...i love her though...so i'm going to be a government assassin or secret agent...whatever...i have a gun...that's all the matters! haha...give me a big candy bar if you see me! and i'll give you a big hug! >.<

blah blah blog

so this is my first blog...and i've never done this before....and i have every other thing possible on the internet so i decided that it was time to get a blog! It's not very cool looking i know...but hey, it's something else for me to waste time on trying to figure out how to work! tommorrow is halloween, and i'm taking my friend Jessica trick-or-treating because she has never been trick-or-treating before! she's a lame-face haha so make sure to open your door! you never know if it will be me!...ummm today was funny because in my psychology class my teacher, Mr. Strong, gave some people this herb called...something slvester or something like that and it's this herb that coats the taste receptors for sugar and sweetness in your mouth...it was pretty hilarious, because he told us the herd does not taste good, and that we were at our own risk if we took it...so naturally...i didn't take it, but it gave me the right to make fun of the people who did, and they made some pretty frickin hilarious faces, let me tell you...and they also made some colorful coments about the taste...then they werew all tripped out because Mr. Strong gave them some candy and they couldn't taste it! intense stuff man...