no job yet...

Well i had my interview...and it went really well....because Andy interviewed me! whooot! uhhh...he said if it was up to him, and it's not unfortnately, he would hire me right away...but they need to 'get ride of the people who suck' says Jamie, the store manager...so for right now, i'm not working at Vans, but i have a steady Monday night job babysitting for Chris Drier, and i get $60 a month...plus side jobs here and there...anywho...that is what's going on in my life right now! haha...

C

a life...worth something to someone

i am the most happy-go-lucky,
loud-mouthed,
craziest person you will ever meet...

or that's how i used to be.
then something happened,
GOD was not the most important person in my life.
i fell so far away, and hit rock bottom
i cried a lot,
i almost killed myself,
i hurt a lot of people i cared about,
i messed up so bad, i felt unworthy of forgiveness
but someone forgave me...
his name is JESUS,
and it took so long for me to open the door of my icy heart
but GOD pried it open
and did a lot of redecorating...

now i'm the new me
a better me
a complete me
a me that wants to live for GOD
i'm thankful for all my friends
i'm thankful for all my family
for all the people who love me
and put up with me
thank you
from the bottom of my heart...
i love you all
above all, i love GOD
and fall more in love with him each and every day...

C

*sighs*

Frustrated am I
guys kill me, haha....oh well....at least JESUS is a good guy :)

C

first poem in a long time

good news! i wrote a poem...and i haven't in a really long time...however, like all, it sucks...so if you want to read my crappy writing...go ahead, but i warn you, it's sad (i don't know why i write depressing things, i just do) and it has nothing to do with what I'm going through or anything...with that...here it is:

You asked me what was wrong
I smiled at you and said nothing
But then i turned away
And i whispered: everything...



I think of you often
You think of me never
I wish we could be together
You wish us to stay friends
I want to be the girl of you dreams
You want that girl to be everything I'm not
I try to tell you how I feel
Time and time again, you don't want to listen.

Everything about you feels so right,
But you don't feel the same
I'm glad you can't see my pain
Would you change your mind about me if your eyes opened?
You never want to talk anymore
We used to be so close,
But now you keep your distance
I tear myself apart over you
I tried to give you my heart
But you tore it out of my hands
and you threw it away...

C

some pictures i took

I like to take pictures...and that's just a few of the ones that i actually liked! haha...i'm not very good at photography...but ohs well!

the only way to go

dude...i love my church! haha...second saturday is awesome...i love to serve people because it's what GOD wants us to do! today we went to Galloping Grace Horse Ranch (maybe that's the name...i hope it is) and helped them out...i piled hay and tarred some posts....good times....'cept for the thousands of tiny, and painful scratches from the hay....and the rubbing my skin raw trying to get tar off myself...but i'm not complaining at all...it was well worth it to see so many smiling people!
i don't really have a lot so say....i met a bunch of really chill people....and we had good times....i made fun of Pokey....so my day was awesome
then i hung out with my dad the rest of the day....and went to church at like 2...and hung out with Pkey and the rest of the sound/worship team until i went to work with the little 2nd graders...haha....good times tooo.....anyway....that's all for now
C.

so sad i want to cry...but can't

My friend from school...many may know her, Abby, is moving back to England! i mean...i seriously don't know what i'm going to do without her! well i know i'm going to be failing chemistry without her, becuase she has a knack for not paying any attention at all to what is going on...yet knowing what we are going to do next. a talent i'm no bueno at...today was my first "B" day without her...i have like 2 classes with her this day...and my day was very sad, and boring...i almost cried! i guess i just don't deal very well with not having someone i like in my classes...i'm normally a very shy person until you get to know me, and Abby brings me out of my shell....but as of Saturday...she will no longer be here to bring me out of my shell...i'm going to miss her something aweful...and school will never ever be the same without her...
tonight was my last night with her, and so jordan, she, and i went out to Olive Garden, and i treated...then we walked (seeing as how none of us can drive) over to Coldstone, and Jordan bought ice cream...i feel like a fatty cakes! we then went over to Barnes & Noble and walked around eating and talking...ugh....i just don't know how i am going to survive without her!
anyway....that's my little taste of sadness....goodnight all

C.